This is a touching and inspirational story featured on the X Factor Australia 2011 via YouTube. Pamela Cook Auditions by singing Kelly Clarkson – Because of You and shares her courageous story. Enjoy!
I was feeling a little melancholy the other day and didn’t realize why until a few days ago. Last week Keaton would have turned 2 yrs. old and 9 months. Not a major “angelversary” date per say, but it goes to show how quickly the heart never forgets. I’m suspect I am bracing myself for his 3rd birthday… To help soothe this familiar ache, I turn to music.
Songs can be so powerful and can have a way of tapping into and expressing the emotions that dwell deep within. The chords, lyrics and images that songs can create have the ability to add colour and wisdom to words that we may not be able to come up with on our own.
After my son died, I searched for music to commiserate with. I needed a healthy distraction and was drawn to praise songs that validated my sadness, yet offered comfort in my despair.
One particular video, I re-played over and over again, and to this day, it is still one of my favourites. “I Will Carry You” by Selah (see lyrics below) illustrates a sad and all too familiar story; however, it also shares an inspirational message of hope after the devastation of losing a child.
As time lapsed and months rolled by, the heaviness of my grief slowly melted and surprisingly, a sense of happiness returned. J. and I were able to smile again and even laugh together without feeling guilty. Still, after almost three years, a constant sense of grief can always be felt and we’ve simply learned to integrate this into our lives. We move forward and live on with full acknowledgement that a part of us is — and always will be — missing.
This undercurrent of sadness can quickly turn from a soft gentle ripple into the fierce, angry waves that engulfed us after Keaton’s death. Even now, innocent triggers that are meaningless to everyone else, can sneak up with vengeance and the pent up storm and torrent of tears can only be held at bay for so long. I’ve learned that it is only natural to feel this way and that it is an outward sign that I love and miss my little boy.
There will still be sad days and I’ve learned to accept them, so when I feel the storm brewing, I take time to listen to music and soothe my heart by making time to cry…
Blessings,
Keaton’s Mama
By Selah
There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?
People say that I am brave but I’m not
Truth is I’m barely hanging on
But there’s a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this
I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the One Who’s chosen me
To carry you
Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He said…
I’ve shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?
I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All your life
And I will praise the One Who’s chosen Me
To carry you
I’ve known Owen’s mom for a couple of years now and we met because someone we both knew thought it could be a potentially healing experience for us to share our stories with one another. I feel blessed to have people in my life who are willing to journey with me and who understand that our children are a gift from God to be loved and cherished, even after they have gone to heaven.
There are many kinds of infant losses which are unexpected and sudden such as ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage and SIDS for example. But what if you were told by a medical expert that the miracle baby growing inside of you would surely die?
“I listened as a stranger told us that our baby would soon die. Listened as a stranger told us that we would have, at most, a few minutes or hours to hold our baby alive. But that far more likely, we would lose our child long before birth. That our beloved son was likely never to grow, and not to survive the length of my pregnancy. That we could lose our precious baby any day”. (Owen’s mom)
When I first read the story of this little boy’s short life, I was moved to tears and knew that it deserved to be shared. I will let this babylost mom tell you in her own words about how her and her husband loved their son letting God decide when it was time for him to go. Owen’s life matters and has meaning and his story begins like this…
My life is not what I ever imagined it would be. It is true that there has been far more pain than I ever could have fathomed. But that pain, though always present, rests now in the shadow of something far greater. That pain now resides in a quiet place, surrounded by blessing and beauty far beyond anything I’ve ever dreamed of. My life has been transformed completely – not into the life I once hoped for, but into one so much fuller and richer and deeper. And that gift of transformation and beauty has been given to me and to my little family by just one tiny person. Our precious newborn son Owen. God’s perfect, transforming gift.
To read Owen’s full story, please click here.
This is a quick note to let everyone know that unfortunately, the email addresses for the Little Light of Heaven site have not been working properly for the past few months. It has just been brought to our attention that we were unable to receive messages sent from most email providers; however, we have been told that the issue has now been resolved and apologize for any inconvenience.
If you have attempted to email/contact us directly and didn’t get a response, please try again. We value your suggestions, comments and questions so please consider contacting us again. We would love to hear from you!
An update about the workshop, memorial service and teddy bear tea will be posted shortly.
Thank you for your patience,
Keaton’s mom
This post on Carly Marie’s blog is truly inspiring. Our thoughts and prayers are with Maeve and her twin daughters Aibhlinn and Caoimhe.
Carly Marie shares Maeve’s story on her blog and writes:
The memorial service for Aibhlinn and Caoimhe will be held this Saturday July 16th, 42 years and 3 months after they passed away. If you have a moment on Saturday, please send out some love and a prayer for Maeve.
It is never too late to name your babies.
It is never too late to hold a memorial service for them.
To all those who may be reading, who never named your babies or held a memorial service for them, we hope this story inspires you and helps you on your road to healing.
Thank you Carly for posting this and for encouraging moms and dads around the world with your beautiful words and projects.
We wish you and your family a gentle Father’s Day as we take time to remember our heavenly children and all the fathers in our lives. Below are prayers that can be included this weekend. I know it means a lot for bereaved parents to be recognized during church services on special days such as Mother’s and Father’s Day.
Thank you to others for remembering that even though our children may not be here on earth, they always remain close in our hearts and minds. Even though all Father’s may not show it, they grieve too…We love you Dads!
We pray;
For bereaved fathers mourning the loss of their children/grandchildren who have died.
For couples who are struggling with infertility and those trying to conceive
For fathers who are expecting and those waiting to adopt; as well as parents who lovingly chose to give up and/or welcome children through adoption and fostering.
For those whose fathers and spouses have died and gone before us.
In thanks for all the father figures in our lives.
God bless,
Keaton’s parents
NOTE: Prayer cards featuring the “Light of Life” image by Libby Dulac are available. Pls. contact us for more information.
A big thank you to Gardens of Gethsemani Cemetery for donating funds to go towards the purchase of teddy bears for the upcoming Teddy Bear Tea this coming Saturday.
We look forward to seeing families at this event. Please remember to RSVP info(at)littlelightofheaven (dot) com if you are attending.