We wish you and your family a gentle Father’s Day as we take time to remember our heavenly children and all the fathers in our lives. Below are prayers that can be included this weekend. I know it means a lot for bereaved parents to be recognized during church services on special days such as Mother’s and Father’s Day.
Thank you to others for remembering that even though our children may not be here on earth, they always remain close in our hearts and minds. Even though all Father’s may not show it, they grieve too…We love you Dads!
For bereaved fathers mourning the loss of their children/grandchildren who have died.
For couples who are struggling with infertility and those trying to conceive
For fathers who are expecting and those waiting to adopt; as well as parents who lovingly chose to give up and/or welcome children through adoption and fostering.
For those whose fathers and spouses have died and gone before us.
In thanks for all the father figures in our lives.
Dearest Little One, we thank Our Heavenly Father for blessing us with your sweet, yet brief life. Know that you have touched our lives forever and we will always love and miss you. We trust Jesus will keep you safe in His care, and pray that one day, we’ll also be able to hold you for eternity. Holy Spirit, may You heal our hearts; inspire us to live faithfully in the hope of everlasting peace and joy in Heaven, and may we all be together as a family again. Amen.
NOTE: Prayer cards featuring the “Light of Life” image by Libby Dulac are available. Pls. contact us for more information.
All children, every single one, are a gift. In early days of my grief journey, seeing little ones had the power to take my breath away as I missed my baby boy with such raw intensity, but I always considered the children around me as blessings.
Other babylost moms just shook their heads when I told them that I was still able to go to baby showers and rarely declined invitations to play dates when my friend’s got the kids together. I have always enjoyed being around children and did not stop loving those around me.
Just because Keaton was no longer here physically in my own arms, does not mean I resented that there were others who had healthy babies resting in theirs. I love going to church and seeing young families there. You may catch me cooing at babies and adoring infants, and watching with wonder toddlers who are around the age that my son would be.
What would Keaton be like? Would he be charming the people in pews behind us during Mass and playing peek-a-boo? Would he be smiling and laughing at other children and trying to break free from my loving embrace when we were supposed to be kneeling silently? Most likely.
Admittedly, there are moments when I miss Keaton so much that it is almost too much to bear. Innocent triggers that remind me of him tug at my emotions, and no matter how hard I try to be strong, the flood of tears are just too much to hold in and I have to simply let them flow freely.
One morning during Mass, every little voice, whimper and giggle of a child, even in the very back of the church, I was able to sense clearly. No matter how hard I tried to tune out the faint cries of the hungry newborn, it stood out above the rest and that is all I could focus on. All I wanted to do was to cuddle my son.
Being at church is my sanctuary, it is my time to open my heart to Jesus and to consciously wipe away any kind of mask that I find myself having to wear to protect “others” from seeing my grief. Mass is also the time when I speak directly to my little boy and tell him how much he means to us and how much he is loved. The peace I feel after talking to him is an incredible blessing that I wish I could share with all bereaved parents for them to also experience.
I am so grateful for these special moments during Mass that give me joy, they greatly outweigh the painful ones, like these…
Tears of Love
For Baby Keaton
Aching silence magnifies my sadness.
Your rest is eternal.
All I can think of
Tears of love,
Mama misses you, so, so much.
I miss you all the time, but today,
I’ve been left with my thoughts and
aching silence magnifies my sadness.
I had a little cry at church today, I’m sure you understand
Surrounded by young families,
Little ones around your age;
Singing, laughing, playing in the aisles,
Cranky sweet sounding whispers asking “why?”
And soft whimpers wanting to be held
because soon it will be nap time.
For them, but not you.
Your rest is eternal…
Cuddled by their mommies and daddies
Reassuring them with kisses, I dare not turn around.
It is too difficult to watch, it is hard enough to listen
Although I try my best to concentrate
On something else
All I can think of
The more I try to stop my lip from quivering
The faster the tears pool
In the corner of my misty eyes.
And during the solitude of prayers
I let them fall freely,
And I am exposed, but it doesn’t matter
Tears of love,
The droplets spill down my cheeks
And I don’t even bother to wipe them away.
Why should I?
And I am comforted by the thought
Of your presence in this place
One of the only places
I can feel your heavenly arms
Even though I cry sometimes,
I am at peace knowing you are here.
My baby boy, Mama loves you
~ Written September 2010 ~
Bereaved parents and family members 18 to 80+ years of age attended the infant and child bereavement workshop on May 30th “Hope and Healing After the Loss of an Infant or Young Child”. Guest Speaker Denis E. Boyd, R. Psych. delivered a sincere and compelling talk about living through grief and the common challenges that bereaved couples face.
The audience was made up of mothers, fathers, support professionals as well as siblings and grandparents. Tips about what healthy grief looks like seemed to hit home with many people as heads bobbed up and down when the speakers related their stories of hope and healing. A shared sense of relief was felt knowing that the thoughts and feelings – likened to a roller coaster ride – are normal reactions after the loss of a child.
Many told me that the most powerful part of the program was meeting with others in the discussion groups and having other people such as family and friends, recognize that healing is an ongoing process. We shared ideas on how to deal with frustrating things others say or do, helpful resources that were available, and ways to honour our children, especially during special dates.
Please contact me at info (at) littlelightofheaven.com if you are interested in attending future workshops and events.