There are two articles that two friends of mine shared with me yesterday, and I thought it was fitting to post them here. The first article talks about how a father and mother were denied the chance to meet, touch and say goodbye to their baby as he was sent away for medical treatment shortly after birth. Decisions were made about their son, without their input and before they could meet their newborn, the machine was “turned off”.
I’ve heard countless stories of women in past generations who delivered stillborn babies, and their children were taken away shortly after birth. Some were not even told if they had a baby boy or girl. Here is a blog post that describes how a stillborn sister – “Kay” never knew existed – came to her in a dream…
At the time, the general thought was to whisk the child away – quickly. The less it was talked about, the better it was for the parents; it was best if the “situation” was forgotten, having memories of their baby would just make it worse in the long run. Research now supports the notion that grieving does need to take place and that parents should be given the opportunity to be with their child. Dr. Joanne Cacciatore is the founder of MISS Foundation a leading researcher in the area of infant bereavement.
Thankfully, times have changed and there is recognition that it is essential for us to bond with our babies, even if they have already passed on. It is important for healthy grieving and healing for parents to be able to be with their children before having to say “goodbye”. Please take a look at some suggestions for what can be done shortly after the death of a baby in a previous post.
In the second article, baby Avery is still alive, but only has a short time to live. Her parents have made a beautiful decision to give her the opportunity to live her life to the fullest first. It is hard to fathom a baby less than a year old, having a “bucket list”: