Tears of Love

For Baby Keaton 

Aching silence magnifies my sadness. 

Why…

Your rest is eternal.

All I can think of

 

 Is you.

 

Relentless…

Tears of love,

Surround me.

Eternally.

***

Dearest Keaton,

Mama misses you, so, so much.

I miss you all the time, but today,

I’ve been left with my thoughts and

aching silence magnifies my sadness. 

I had a little cry at church today, I’m sure you understand

 

Why…

 

Surrounded by young families,

Little ones around your age;

Singing, laughing, playing in the aisles,

Cranky sweet sounding whispers asking “why?”

And soft whimpers wanting to be held

because soon it will be nap time.

For them, but not you.

 

Your rest is eternal…

 

Cuddled by their mommies and daddies

Reassuring them with kisses, I dare not turn around.

It is too difficult to watch, it is hard enough to listen

Although I try my best to concentrate

On something else

All I can think of

Is you.

 

The more I try to stop my lip from quivering

The faster the tears pool

In the corner of my misty eyes.

 

Relentless…

 

And during the solitude of prayers

I let them fall freely,

And I am exposed, but it doesn’t matter

Tears of love,

The droplets spill down my cheeks

And I don’t even bother to wipe them away.

Why should I?

And I am comforted by the thought

Of your presence in this place

One of the only places

I can feel your heavenly arms

Surround me.

Even though I cry sometimes,

I am at peace knowing you are here.

My baby boy, Mama loves you

Eternally.

xoxo

~ Written September 2010 ~